Part 7: Self-care for Moms-Find a Support System
Judgy McJudgypants. Sanctimommy.
You know her. We all do. It’s that person who thinks and even says, “my child would never do that.”
As I’m typing this, I really want to laugh hysterically. In spite of everything we’ve taught our kids, there will always be a time when they are going to do something that doesn’t align with our values. What’s worse is when someone with no children says something like that. Bahahahahahahah! Okay, what?
Why do people do that? Is it because we must compare ourselves to others so that we feel better? I understand that we all probably do this internally, but I have a hard time grasping why another mom would outright judge another mom face-to-face. I guarantee, none of us have perfect lives and none of us have perfect children. What we need is support from each other, because if anyone knows how hard parenting can be, another mom does.
Another mom knows that sometimes, you don’t have say anything. Just listen. Another mom knows how hurtful it is when your child is in a bad place or makes a bad decision. Or when your toddler is throwing a tantrum in the middle of the doctor’s office or store. Another mom knows…BECAUSE SHE’S A MOM.
On another note, why do we feel it necessary to shame other moms who aren’t like us?
I have always been a petite person and pretty fit most of my life. Yes, I don’t really know what it’s like to be really overweight or to feel self-conscious or talked about because of my weight. But I do know what it’s like to be shamed because of my size or for being in shape. I’ve been the fit mom at the pool party and in the pool with the kids while the other moms stand by, fully-dressed, talk and whisper about me because I was in shape. So while I haven’t gone down the journey of someone who has a great deal of weight to lose, that doesn’t mean I don’t know what it feels like to be whispered about. That we do have in common. And we also have empathy for each other.
Personal development…mindset is SO important in handling these situations in daily life! There’s always going to be that sanctimommy watching you glance at your phone as your child falls off the chair at storytime. Little do they know, it’s an important call from a sick family member that you’ve been waiting to hear about.
There will always be people whispering behind your back (or to your face) about whether or not you need to lose weight, shouldn’t be eating that, or how in the world can she have abs after having kids. (It’s because she eats clean and works her a$$ off, by the way.)
The point is….it’s not about you. It’s about them. It’s their insecurities coming through. When your mindset is positive and in the right place, these things can’t hurt you. Sure, it stings for a second, but you’ve got this. You know you’re a good mom. You know you’re doing the best you can. You know that your kids know this too.
Surround yourself with positive people. Create your own support system. If they feel it necessary to brag about how “their kids wouldn’t do that”, then you don’t need them in your life.
I’m a mom, and I KNOW.